Experiencing cognitive dissonance happens when someone's actions don't align with their words and this can ignite gut feelings that vary from what you hear or observe.  The situation can be a disorienting and emotionally challenging. It often involves a sense of confusion, frustration, and inner conflict as you grapple with the inconsistency between what someone says and what they do. Here's what it's like to go through this experience:

Initial Confusion: At first, you might not notice the inconsistency. You take people at their word and trust that their actions will match their statements. When you begin to see discrepancies, confusion sets in. You might question whether you've misunderstood or misinterpreted the situation.

Disbelief: As you become more aware of the mismatch between words and actions, you may find it hard to believe that someone you trust or care about would act in a way that contradicts what they've said. There's a natural inclination to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Frustration and Distrust: Over time, frustration can grow as you witness the inconsistency repeatedly. You may start to feel skeptical and doubt the sincerity of the person's words. Trust erodes as you struggle to reconcile what you see with what you've been told.

Inner Conflict: Cognitive dissonance often leads to inner conflict. You may find yourself torn between wanting to believe the person's words and feeling compelled to acknowledge the evidence of their actions. This inner tension can be emotionally draining.

Attempt to Rationalize: To reduce the discomfort of cognitive dissonance, you might attempt to rationalize the inconsistency. You may come up with explanations or justifications for the person's behavior, even if those explanations seem unlikely.

Reevaluation of the Relationship: Cognitive dissonance can lead to a reevaluation of your relationship with the person in question. You may question the authenticity of the connection, wonder whether you can trust them, and consider whether the relationship is healthy for you.

Seeking Clarification: In some cases, you may decide to seek clarification from the individual. You might express your observations and feelings, hoping for an explanation that can resolve the dissonance. However, their response may not always align with what you hope to hear.

Emotional Impact: Experiencing cognitive dissonance can be emotionally taxing. It can lead to feelings of disappointment and sometimes sadness. The inconsistency between words and actions can challenge your emotional well-being.

Potential for Growth: While cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable, it can also be an opportunity for personal growth and learning. It encourages critical thinking and self-reflection, prompting you to reassess your own values, boundaries, and expectations in relationships.

Experiencing cognitive dissonance when someone's actions do not match their words can be a challenging and emotionally complex experience. It involves a range of sensations and emotions that often prompt self-reflection and a reevaluation of relationships. It's essential to navigate this situation establishing clear boundaries with an understanding and commitment to your own well-being and values.